Why a good startup founder knows the secret to success is asking for help

A few weeks ago, I made a promise to my bride, Ms. Bry – no more new deals. But if I likely fall off the wagon and under the spell again, there is one inviolate rule to invoke. Never go it alone.

This theme has some serious legs. Angela Duckworth, professor at University of Pennsylvania, recently wrote a commentary in the New York Times that the one habit all successful people have in common is “the willingness to ask for help.” It is core to their achievements.

Herewith a story from Bob, a venture capitalist friend of mine, who recently installed a solar panel on his sailboat. Bob tells me about buying the panel, a microprocessor, a charge controller, fuses and some wire. “Then I married all that stuff with instructions from ChatGPT and Claude,” he said.

“It took 10 hours, three incorrect fuses and rewiring twice. Having finished it, I can see now that an experienced boat electrician could have designed, purchased and installed everything and have it working in less than 90 minutes.”

Here comes the lightbulb. “Having someone experienced can save you enormous time which is critical when you try to go to market.” My VC is retired and loves this stuff, but if you are a startup founder, there is a lesson here worth considering. No time to learn on the job. Know what you really know and find someone else for what you don’t.

Consider Y Combinator, the most famous tech incubator of all. They almost never fund solo founders. They believe in and write checks to co -founders. Paul Graham, a Y Combinator founder, says, “Even if you could do all the work yourself, you need colleagues to brainstorm with, to talk you out of stupid decisions and to cheer you up when things go wrong.”

Me personally, I have co-founded more than eight technology companies and prior to technology, I co-developed almost 2 million square feet of real estate and before that, when I was in Hollywood, I always had a co-writer. Nothing, never alone.

Nicolai Tangen, CEO of Norway’s $2.3 trillion Global Pension Fund, the largest sovereign wealth fund in the world, gives massive credit for his success to his assistant Grete Starheim, whom he calls the “real hero” of the CEO office. He trusts her and believes her when she tells him he’s wrong. This story resonates across every successful CEO.

There is, as usual, a dark corner to the obvious, namely finding that co-founder/partner/expert voice/mentor/assistant that you can trust. Most entrepreneurs have a high level of self-confidence (sometimes sending them way over their skis), but to learn to give it up and admit that you need help requires some significant self-awareness.

Once convinced of the need, however, the next problem is how to find this person. This leads to the challenge of hiring. It seems that there is an orthogonal mismatch lurking today. For example, a young lady, a crew member on my sailboat, has a master’s in mechanical engineering, with a special focus on marine and ocean projects, from UCSD. She tells me she has sent out several hundred resumes, only gotten one interview and did not get past any recruiter, either AI or human. No age group or professional skill set is exempt from the ruthless bot.

Duckworth’s research is compelling. Know what you don’t know. Then go find the missing piece. Once found, then the truly hard work begins. Can you co-exist? Can you make it work? The list of break-ups is long and legendary — Simon and Garfunkel, Martin and Lewis, Sonny and Cher, the Beatles etc.

Now consider the VC dilemma. They want to back co-founders, but here are the statistics from Carta. Sixty-five percent of venture-backed startups lose at least one co-founder before reaching a Series B financing. Approximately 25% of founding members leave by year three. In essence, they are trying to find/fund ghosts.

I got lucky 34 years ago when a very clever lady, Nicole Rockstead, agreed to come to my office and give it a try. She is still here, and like Tangen, I give massive credit to her for my having survived the dangers and demons of startup deal mayhem. I understand the new world order of AI agents, but as Samuel Goldwyn said, “You may include me out.”

Senturia is a serial entrepreneur who invests in startups. Please email ideas to neil@blackbirdv.com.